Never a bottle

We kill ourselves
In the pursuit of perfection
Because we’ve been told
All our lives
That if we work hard enough
We can have anything we want


We don’t want to be who we are
No matter how kind
Or loving
Or giving
Or fair
We want to be somebody else


What would we accomplish
If we shared the message
That kind
And loving
And giving
And fair
Are enough?
That beauty manifests itself in those acts?
What if we said
You can only have your body
And it is uniquely yours
Beautiful and worn
As sea glass?
What if we allowed ourselves to feel it?
Rather than telling everyone else


I waste time
And energy
Being unkind
Unloving
Ungiving
Unfair
To myself
For things I cannot change
For damage I didn’t do
For being a bottle thrown into the waves
Tossed
Broken
Gloss dulled


I was never a bottle
But flesh
Soft
Rounded
Marked by sharp edges and words
I work to undo it all
To unfight the battles I’ve won or lost
To make firm my softness
Camouflage my me-ness
To be someone else
Something else
Another battle already lost
Knowing it might kill me