Never a waste

I have never had an inkling
To make our years grotesque
To dishonor the time we spent
loving one another the best way we knew how
I wonder what can make someone say they love you more than anything and don't want to lose you
But then be unwilling
to take the steps needed to keep them.
Is it unwillingness?
Or inability?
Would your discomfort have been so great
at having to go from static to dynamic
that you could walk away once the denial wore off? That when push came to shove,
​you shoved yourself out the door?

You represent half of my life
I can't throw you away
Or erase you
Or tell you I hate you
Because that would mean I'd wasted my time

You weren't a waste
Aren't
Nothing I can say or do
would prove that to you now
But nothing I can say or do
would make you prove that to yourself
So now I am here
In this home I bought for us
And you are there in someone else's
Have they grown tired, as I did, of your reliance?
Or are they handling you, as I did, with kid gloves?
Not because you belong to them,
But because your ego is fragile and
you are their mirror
Reflecting back at them all of their failings

Looking at it from this distance,
I can say it's not my fault
Looking at it from this distance,
I can see nothing was right
Looking at it from this distance,
I can still say I care