Plain and porous

Pen in hand
I sat down at the table
And I wrote you a letter
Whether from nerves or lack of habit
I shook
Ink clinging to my skin
As it dragged across the page

When I was done
I wondered if I'd said the right things
In the right way
I laid it down
Reluctant to seal the envelope
To lick the glue that could be our undoing
But I did
Because you say you want me as I am
And I am smeared ink, shaking, clumsy

Some minutes later
A bowl chipped
I thought I was being careful
Stacking it with another
But the right angle
The right force
The right moment
And there was ceramic between my toes
Its core bare
Plain and porous bone
Beneath a cobalt glaze

Sadness replaced my fear
Because the bowl had been his
Bought in preparation for his first apartment
It survived beyond six moves
Seventeen years
Our marriage
And its ending
I hope he didn't want it back
Though he's stopped asking for things
When he learned I'd no longer give them