What won't mend

It's the twinge of healed bone in a cold snap
A distant echo of pain you've long since forgotten
And you're suddenly, inexplicably angry
At your traitorous self
For the reminder
That you haven't (maybe can't ever)
Set it entirely right
So you apologize to everyone
Except yourself
For your failings
Which nobody else sees
Until you shine light on them
As penance for your lack of resilience
This is what I've broken
This is what won't mend
This is what pulses and bleeds
What makes me stumble
And why I won't take a hand
Offered to help me up
Because I deserve this
Look at all I've done and shouldn't
All I haven't but could have
Maybe someday
I will no longer flinch
Untold winters since
Under my belt
But not today
So please don't leave
Have the patience I don't
To love me just as I am